Just because I´m in the Peace Corps. doesn´t mean that I don´t like to take showers. Albeit unlike most of you, my showers are cold and sometimes swarming with gigantic spiders waiting to empoison me with their deadly venom. That being said, I was in the shower the other day and was a bit startled to see this merry fellow dangling from our shower curtain. Actually, startled isn´t quite the word, as I believe I yelled something like, ¨JEEEEEEEEEEESSSSHUUUUWAAATHAAAAAA!!!¨ as I sprinted to my room, scantily clad.
After a 2 minute pep talk (with myself), I returned armed with my camera, baseball glove, and a newfound sense of manhood. With my back pressed against the wall, I inched my way around the shower curtain and was once again face to face with the mighty beast. I then smacked him to the ground with the baseball glove and he proceeded to scurry to and fro on the floor, whilst I tap-danced like a little girl, trying to avoid him. He must have gotten himself rather winded, because he abruptly stopped scurrying and I was able to snap this rather candid shot. In this picture you can clearly see him contemplating his impending doom. In fact, if you look closely enough, you can even see a tiny spider tear trickling down from one of his many spider eyes.
Next I killed him, mercilessly and brutally. I won´t go into the details here because children read this blog (perhaps yooouurr children). Upon finishing this dirty deed I relished in a chance to relax for a moment and began contemplating my shower again. It was at this instant that I felt something JUMP ON MY BACK!!! I immediately began batting wildly behind me with both arms (we all know how difficult and awkward this can be), while visions of a vengeful spider relative sinking his teeth into my flesh were running through my head. I finally managed to knock the offending creature to the ground and quickly got a picture of him as he crawled into the shower curtain rod.
Wow, sometimes that God can be quite a prankster. As it turns out, the mystery guest was nothing more than one of the tiny tree frogs that lives in our shower. Perhaps he was feeling a bit homesick and, wrought with grief, mistook my back for a soft lily pad. Either way he scared the bejeeezus out of me.
I would like to dedicate this blog to my cousin Travis and his dog J.D.
6 comments:
That is the scariest looking spider I have ever seen in my entire life. I would have taken my own life rather than relive your harrowing experience.
I love reading your blog btw, and I hope things are going great for you! Someday we'll have to catch up :)
-Mark Talaga
After saying first off, I've just laughed my ass off, especially at the "tap dancing like a little girl" part. But it has to be said, YOU HAVE A SHOWER!!! and a shower CURTAIN no less! "eeeew, spiders, waaah, my life's so hard." Suck it up, bitchboy! ;)
Found a scorpion in my room a couple nights ago, I now have a new acquired a new found phobia. Later, a frog jumped up my leg and I screamed very loudly, my family thought I had just seen a vision of Allah.
Oh Bill... You big baby... they are big and hairy and scary looking but they don't bite and won't hurt you. They're not even poisonous... my cat, Necio, used to eat them. My general rule is that if they run FROM you and not AT you, they is possibility for peaceful cohabitation. he, he!
we eat these suckaz for breakfast in thailand. what's the fuss? ;)
oh, that is from hilary. that is 'profesora hilaria' to YOU.
MORE POSTS! MORE POSTS!
-Jordan
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